I was one of the legion of followers on the internet anxiously awaiting Iron Sky’s release. Who isn’t intrigued by the promise of moon nazi’s, that have been hiding on the dark side of the moon since their defeat in 1942, patiently waiting for a time to return to Earth and finish what they started? Perhaps my high expectations are to blame for my appraisal of the movie.

Iron Sky started well with a couple of astronauts bouncing around on the moon. Enter a nazi. There’s some backstory where you meet a Nazi English teacher, the female lead of the story; the male antagonist who starts well but then becomes a caricature of every villain; the male protagonist, a big athletic black dude; and a few scenes with the worst actress in the movie, the Sarah Pallin-esq president of the United States, who’s running for president in 2018 and hence keen to start a war or something to bolster her political career. (One of the many annoying continuity issues in the movie is her election campaign: the next election would be in 2020 not 2018 as the US elections are every 4 years and since this year is an election year, addition would make 2018 not a possibility). The start of the movie was good. I wanted to see where it was going. The movie started failing about the time an Albert Einstein looking nazi doctor walked in with the “albinizing serum”. He was going to try to turn the black male lead white (as Nazi’s are wont to do, you see nazi’s, like George Bush, don’t like black people). Cringe. From this point, I spent most of the time playing “I spy: Brisbane” As some of you may know, part of Iron Sky was filmed in Brisbane.

Iron Sky didn’t fail in the usual way a spoof fails. Iron sky had great acting (the only notable exception was the Sara Palin-esq president, whose accent was as grating as her acting was atrocious). The cinematography and effects were also good. The problem was the writing. It is meant to be a comedy, but it wasn’t all that funny. You might find yourself thinking ‘Ah yea, I knew the Nazi’s hated blacks’ or ‘so true, Nazi’s wanted to breed the perfect human, I learned that’ but that failed attempt at “historical accuracy” is not humour. They used every cliché in the book, (albeit poorly) from the drawn out villain speech that gives the protagonist a chance to escape, to the “sexy” woman who uses her feminine wiles to trick the dumb sex crazed man into not killing her (after all, aren’t all men sex crazed? And who amongst us hasn’t tried to thwart an evildoer with promises of sexual favours? -cue eye roll). The very idea is dated. It’s like a scene from Married With Children. There was also an entire section of the movie that had no relevance. Yes, I’m talking about the moon nazi’s political career. What the heck writers? Were you high? If the movie is going to be a completely imaginary “what if” situation a la Total Recall, that’s great. Don’t base it off reality. But if you’re going to poke fun at reality, do it better. The attempts at humour were so obvious. I don’t mean to spoil it for those who haven’t seen it, but I would like to give a heads up to those who are anxiously awaiting the release: Lower your standards.

By Angie Wills

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